🏆Practical Philosophy: How to Play Win-Win and Avoid Lose-Lose

A reporter once asked an up-and-coming tennis star,

“How do you deal with your nervousness?”

She looked puzzled and said,

“Nervous? If I were nervous, I wouldn’t play.”

In my freshman philosophy class, I learned about Socratic Rationalism, the idea that every action is logically rational, even if it’s not immediately apparent. For example, if someone were to steal my scooter, their intent would be as logical to them as mine would be in tracking it down and reclaiming it.

Through that same lens, standing across the net from your idols with millions watching would make anyone nervous. But for her, it didn’t.

And that fact helped her to win.

It’s not fun to be nervous. We do what we love. Where attention goes, energy flows.

Her composure is irrational to us. But not to her. Why?

Beliefs are like software: upgradable and deterministic—Input in, Output out.

I think there are certain win-win philosophies: mindsets where, at best, you win, and at worst, you still come out ahead.

Beliefs in abundance, capability, and future security tend to create the very outcomes they assume. The world tends to show us more of what we choose to look for.

The same mental physics applies in reverse. Lose-lose beliefs also exist.

When you’re infatuated with another person, you can either shrink yourself to their every desire or become the kind of person whose life naturally draws others in.

You can’t control their decision, only your own development.

It’s an everyday application of game theory, where a win-win is your Nash Equilibrium. Select the decision that benefits you regardless of what anyone else decides.

Finding and Choosing a Win-Win

I try to imagine what a win-win player believes.

In the tennis example, I bet that she has such a love of the sport that she is grateful for the opportunity to challenge a worthy competitor. For her, competition isn’t a threat; it’s a privilege.

No nerves. Only opportunity. Only execution.

“Action produces information.” — Brian Armstrong

She never really fails. She just gathers more information.

Before your next serve, believe that every point can be a win-win.